In A Pear Tree

Here's to working Christmas night!

Highlights this year:

• 12 alcoholics
• 11 pain med seekers
• 10 c-diff cleanups
• 9 stool samples
• 8 hours charting (each night...)
• 7 GI bleeds
• 6 patients filled with cancer
• 5 comfort care patients
• 4 dirty jokes from patients
• 3 doctor's yelling
• 2 times I cried
• And a lady AIDS patient
• And a code stroke
• And a trip to the morge
• And a "oh the lady in 18 is dead"
• And a "we were gonna send him to psych but..."
• And a Spanish only speaking patient
• And a remember to CYA
• And a whole box full of stress and zits!

"Then he called his twelve disciples together, and gave them power and authority over all devils, and to cure diseases.  And he sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick." Luke 9"1-2

Can I Have Your Scissors?

Patient, "Can I have your scissors to cut my nails?"

Me, "No, sorry."

Patient, "I just want to cut my nails not kill myself!"

Me, "If you cut your finger off you are going to sue me.  And you have c-diff, so you can't touch anything of mine.  Is there anything else I can get for you?  Are you in pain right now?  No?  I'll be back to check on you soon."

"Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded; But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh." Proverb 1:24-26

Girls Are Crazy

This girl was looking at herself intensely in the mirror and her friend asked her what she was looking at.

She said, "I'm feeling really self conscious about my hair."

"Why? Your hair looks perfect."

"Yeah, like I'm going to a piano recital."

"Don't they want perfect hair at piano recitals?"

"Yeah...."

"Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped his feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment." John 12:3